12 Things Charities Really Wish You Wouldn't Donate

Moldy socks, skid-marked pants and jumpers that smell like they've never been laundered are about as disgusting as a tramp on his seventh can of beer. Seriously, holes, stains and stinks are just plain insulting. Let's try to keep our faith in humanity intact here, yeah?

Potentially damaged car seats are the ugly face of irresponsibility. And sure, maybe you know your car seat has never been in a serious accident. But the reality is, damaged car seats are as ineffective as wet gunpowder and no charity can run that risk. If you don't know the guidelines on this, where have you been living - under a rock?

Do you seriously think charity folks have nothing better to do than to sort through a cesspool of the dumping extravaganza puked out from the back of your wardrobe? If you couldn't even be bothered to fish out false teeth, leftovers and rotten unidentifiable objects from your pile of rubbish, why should they? One word only needed here: respect.

Who are you kidding? Do you think anyone needs to see a pile of aging, sticky porn? A used erotica paper mountain is going to do nothing for raising funds for world peace. Don't be creepy.

Your old VHS player? About as wanted and useful as a third nipple. A brick of mobile phone that hasn't seen the light of day since shoulder pads were around? Forget it. While some nonprofits collect electronic equipment like computers and printers for recycling, there's only one place for your 80s throwback electronics - a museum!

Trying to get rid of cast-offs worthy of the toy graveyard and decapitated dolls that look like they were part of some freaky emergency services accident? Stop! Broken toys are about as much fun as a poke in the eye with a hot stick? So why would you give them to someone else? SHAME ON YOUR NAME!

Oh yes, giving a bike helmet previously owned by a child is as reckless as a minor traffic driving violation. Just what every charity wants. Bike helmets are a one-owner item. Duh! On the plus side, not donating it means you get to beat it down with a hammer and trash it like a rock star instead.

Come on now, lose the ego and dump self-made art in the garbage. Nobody wants those garish flowers or wobbly nude you painted when you were going through your "artsy" phase hanging up on their walls. The garbage is a cruel, but fair, fate because - let's face it - your art is about as pleasant as a bad itch.

Burns, vomit, beer stains and exploding stuffing. You might have broken it in (if you know what we mean), but it's time to give a kiss goodbye to your beloved couch from frat days. Nobody wants to inherit your nostalgia.

On a more serious note, old sofas tend to have a weird relationship with bad chemicals making them much more than just stinky.

Don't you think charities have enough to worry about already without electrocuting someone? Malfunctioning blenders, crippled hoovers and busted irons do not a good donation make. Remember, charities are trying to save lives, not add to the number of people they need to look after.

Oh yes, look at this amazing garage-full of twenty years of drudgery and uselessness! Please just give me a load of boxes full of your old screwdrivers, children's paintings and old paint cans. Said no charity, ever.

Mmmmmm. . .80s blue eye shadow that is nastier than an old wizard's armpit? Foundation that is so old it is flakier than a biscuit? The golden ticket for absolutely no charity anywhere. Old makeup not only looks totally gross, but is also ridden with harmful bacteria. No, just no.

Donate stuff the right way with these tips.